Why Men and Women Can Be Friends

Many argue that straight men and women can never truly be friends, especially if at least one of them is attracted to the other. Is this true? I do not believe it is and I will explain why below.

First of all, what do we mean when we say "friend"? A friend is, by definition, someone who we know personally and share a mutual bond with. Under that definition, it is most certainly possible for straight men and women to be friends, even if at least one of them is attracted to the other. As long as people know each other personally and mutually share some form of a bond with each other, friendship is possible, and attraction alone does not prevent that. Perhaps part of the problem is that some people see friendship as requiring that there be no urge to be anything more than friends. Such a friendship likely feels uncomfortable for those people. A friendship where there is attraction certainly may be more awkward, but whether a person lets that get in the way of forming a mutual bond is typically completely under their control. We humans may be animals, but most of us have a high-enough level of self-control to make our own decisions about what we do in relationships of all types.

There is also the possibility that some people who say that men and women cannot be be friends are under the assumption that even with no attraction, as long as those involved are straight and of the opposite gender, then friendship is still impossible as friendships between straight men and women supposedly inevitably lead to romance. This notion is honestly laughable. It probably comes from seeing romance television shows and movies, both of which often depict men and women starting as friends and having no idea that anything beyond friendship will happen, but later becoming romantically involved with each other. Regularly seeing that sort of thing in our entertainment may make some of us believe it is actually how things are supposed to be in real life. Separating fiction from reality unfortunately is not always easy for everyone.

Another thing to think about regarding whether or not straight men and women can be friends is that gay and lesbian people exist, so can gay and lesbian people be friends with people of their same gender? Even a person making the argument that straight men and women cannot be friends with one another would probably say yes to that. Yet, if we except the notion that straight men and women cannot be friends, we would likely also have to say that gay and lesbian people can only be friends with the opposite gender. If one is more traditional in their beliefs, they might not except that some people are in fact gay or lesbian, but even traditionalists have largely started to acknowledge that some people may actually be gay or lesbian, even though they might disagree with acting upon it. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, for example, has taken the stance that being attracted to the same gender is a real things, but that people should not act on that attraction (see link below for reference).

https://www.mormonnewsroom.org.nz/article/same-sex-attraction

Are friendships between men and women who are straight possible? Certainly. One really just has to acknowledge their own free will and look for people they can get to know personally and have mutual bonds with. It could probably even be argued that it is better to have at least a few friends of the opposite gender for purposes of variety. So unless one really feels like they have zero self-control, I strongly that gender not be a determining factor in friendship.